I can tell you anything, right?

20190202_122445.jpgJeetu, a 12th-grade boy, sat in my office, eager to talk.

“You’re the principal, so I can tell you anything, right?”

I was tickled by Jeetu’s question.  A lot of kids might have the opposite thought: You’re the principal so let me choose my words carefully and make sure you don’t find out whatever I’m hiding.

Jeetu took New York State Regents exams* in January.  I was meeting with every 12th grader who had taken exams and experienced at least one disappointment in failing an exam.  Continue reading

The Pressure to Punish Part II

Briliant hues

Last week, I wrote about a student who sent an angry email to a teacher during winter break. I talked about my own initial instinct to “jump to punishment” instead of finding out what had happened.

Returning from break, I was reminded of another layer of complexity: the parents’ pressure to punish.

The day we returned from break, I assumed that the student who wrote the email would feel remorseful. We would start off with discussing why the email was a problem, the student would apologize, and all would be well.

Nope: the student returned to school angry, sure that he was “right” to express his feelings in the email.

Continue reading

The upset of praise

TrophyLast year in the 9th grade, Robert* had a rough start.  He would argue with directions, wander hallways, and frequently cut classes.  We were alarmed to see these habits so early in his high school career and did our best to address his behavior.

However, we didn’t see a major change until July: over the summer, Robert calmed down and got focused.  He attended summer school and had a math class with a teacher he admired.  In August, he passed the state math exam.  He started his 10th-grade year well, arriving on time, participating enthusiastically in classes, and performing well.

Then, the cutting habits started to creep in again.  We noticed he’d skip his last class of the day, history.  This year, we started a much stronger approach to addressing cutting.  We developed a system to stop students in the morning who had cut class the day before.  We met with them and helped them re-think how and why they should stay in school all day. Continue reading

No, you’re sitting here.

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At the beginning of the year, I did a presentation for a 9th-grade class. As the students walked into the classroom, I told them where to sit. “Good morning! You can sit here,” I’d say, pointing to a table.

One student chose another table than the one I had pointed to. “I’ll sit here,” he told me, plunking himself down. He smiled and folded his arms.

“No,” I said. “You’ll sit here.” I pointed to the original table. I smiled back.

“But I can work better here,” he insisted.

“No,” I said again. “I’m very happy you’ll be in this class today, and so I need you to sit here.” I pointed again and repeated myself: “Here, please.”

Continue reading

After a fight

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Student tracing a sketch in art class.

This week, two girls had a fight in the cafeteria.  We found that it had been instigated by other students, and stemmed from unkind posts on social media.

The issue for me wasn’t the fight; we quickly broke up the fight and held a mediation between the students involved that was successful.  The issue was that a large number of our 9th and 10th-grade students cheered on the fight.

Earlier in the year, we had spoken to our students about integrity and how it relates to not encouraging a fight.  I was disappointed that the students had cheered on the fight until a friend reminded me of “rubbernecking” in traffic: “That’s just what people do.  Remember how in traffic, people slow down when there’s a car accident because they want to see the accident.   It’s not always because they actually need to slow down, it’s just that human curiosity.” Continue reading

Saying “Yes” to Interruptions

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Students making origami at lunchtime.

This year, my assistant principals and I committed to being the “first responders” for student behavior issues.  In the past, as the principal, I personally did not respond to most behavior issues.  Teachers would call an office extension and another staff member or one of my assistant principals would respond to the issue.

This year, we created a system where the teacher directly texts the three administrators (my assistant principals and me) on “What’s App.”  One of us then goes immediately to the classroom to support the teacher.

In being the “first responders,” we have our pulse on what’s happening in the school. Continue reading

Can you trust a 16 year old?

 

julie nariman's old driver license

Me at age 16, the day I got my driver’s license.

On March 14, students across the nation are planning a walkout to honor the victims of the Parkland, Florida shooting.  The recent surge of student voice has gotten me thinking about how much responsibility and trust we give, or don’t give, to teenagers.  How capable are teenagers?  How reliable are their opinions?  How smart are their decisions?

 

In high school when I was 16, I had a Driver’s Education class which meant that I got to practice driving once a week instead of going to one of my regular classes.  At first, my instructor just had me drive around the school parking lot, but as I got more experienced, we’d drive on highways and busier roads.

One day when I got into the car, my instructor asked me, “Do you have your learner’s permit?” Continue reading